Wednesday's Child Success Stories! It Happened to Be a Wednesday

"We'd always talked about adoption, and adopting children with special needs-- kids that are harder to place," say Tim and Rebecca. "Our plan was that we would have our own children and then adopt." The Atlanta couple never imagined that things would happen the other way around. But as time moved on in their marriage, they decided to begin the adoption process.

In addition to special needs, Tim and Rebecca were open to siblings. "I always said two. My wife always said three." Adoption wasn't new to their family. This would be the fourth generation to include adoptees. The extended family includes Asian, African American, and Caucasian members. Tim says, "We always opened ourselves up to multiracial children. They would understand that the color of your skin doesn't determine whether you can be a member of the family or not-- it's the love."

"We went through an organization called the Giving Tree in Decatur, GA," Tim continues. "They were wonderful! They only do special needs adoptions, and they work across the country, not just Georgia. We went through the MAPP (Model Approach to Partnership in Parenting) training program. And then we just started looking. It was difficult because you want to take them all."

At this point, Rebecca started looking at the Wednesday's Child listings on the Internet. The Wednesday's Child Website is maintained by the National Adoption Center and funded by the Freddie Mac Foundation.

"We went back to the Giving Tree," says Tim. "My wife came with Jessie, Shmar and Kenyada's picture. We said, ‘What about something like these three kids?' Tim and Rebecca's worker sent their homestudy (the document that shows a family has been approved to adopt) to the children's social worker. "About three weeks later, we got a letter from the county where they were."

The letter, which came the first week in August, 2002, said that Tim and Rebecca's homestudy had been selected for Jessie, age 9, his brother Shmar, 7, and his sister Kenyada, 5. Tim says, "From there it just went real quick." He and Rebecca never did see the children's Wednesday's Child feature on television. But they saw the video on the Georgia website. "We wore that thing out!" says Tim. "I had to show everybody!"

"It took a couple of weeks to go through all the paperwork-- from schools, case studies, and every doctor's appointment that they ever went to!" Tim remembers. The family has good memories associated with September 11th, because that was the date they all met. Tim continued, "They visited every weekend until October 3, 2002, when they were placed with us. It happened to be a Wednesday!"

"Everything changed for them on October 3rd. Imagine how it is for any kids when the family moves, and they have to leave their school and all their friends. But then you have to magnify it at least 10 times. They have a new mom and dad! Their social worker changed. That was the one person who had stayed constant for a few years." Tim quickly points out, "We still keep in contact with their old social workers. They are like family."

Working with the children's agency, The Bacon County Georgia Division of Family and Children's Services, was one of the highlights of the experience, according to Tim. "It was their first adoptive placement outside of the county. Bacon County was more rural. They knew the limitations of small town life. They were happy for the kids to have some new opportunities."

The adoption was finalized a year later. "We had always told them that this is forever. You're here to stay. And of course they tested us. They still do. What's really making them understand is that now we're in the second year. We're doing the same things over again-- Hallowe'en, holidays. This was the first time in their life that they were in the same place for a second school year!"

Two of the children had been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, However, Tim says, "None of them are in special education classes right now, which, with all they've gone through, is a rarity. It's one of the things that we feel so proud of, with our kids. We talk about going to college or going to a trade school after graduation. Jesse wants to go to Georgia Tech. Shmar says he's going to be a Georgia bulldog. The two schools (Georgia and Georgia Tech) are big rivals down here. But if sports is a way to keep them in school, and keep them with a goal, then that's great." Tim admits he has to brag a little. "The two boys are really good athletes. They make Mom and Dad proud." Kenyada keeps up by taking karate lessons, like her brothers, which Tim says helps them all with discipline.

"Have a psychologist, a psychiatrist and your medical doctors lined up. And go to the parenting support groups," Tim warns. "The hardest thing about the adoption was finding doctors and getting the kids the psychiatric and psychological appointments that they needed. We needed to start that on day one. One child came on medication. We needed to find someone who could continue that, and who could deal with the family unit as a whole. We're a big believer in counseling-- and not just for the kids! The kids go every week. Every other week is our family session." What day of the week does this fall on? Wednesday, of course!

Tim and Rebecca are also active participants in a parenting support group, sponsored by the Giving Tree. Since all the families have adopted school age children who were in the foster care system, the group helps put things into perspective. Tim explains, "We'd go and listen to other people's stories and we'd say, ‘Our kids aren't so bad,' or, ‘Our kid never did that!'"

Football games, karate classes, homework, school visits, therapy sessions, and support group meetings are not all that has kept this family busy. Tim and Rebecca have also fulfilled the second part of their plan for a family. "Two weeks after we met the kids," Tim says, "we found out that my wife was pregnant. We had our fourth child at the end of May of this past year. That's probably what really made the kids feel a part of the family. They accept Dori as their sister. Shmar just makes her laugh. Kenyada wants to hold her all the time. It turned out to be the perfect plan."

Story written by Becky Birtha as told by Tim