Gwen wasn't thinking about adoption when she took part in a group bus trip to the Philadelphia Art Expo, a showing and sale of African American Art. But at the exhibit, she noticed a table staffed by the National Adoption Center, and picked up some free handouts. One was a magnet with the Center's contact information and the words, "We bring special people together." The magnet ended up on her refrigerator, where it stayed, a gentle reminder until she was ready to make the next move.

When that time came, she worked with an agency in her home state, Maryland, to complete the adoption approval process. When it was finished, she was seriously considered for one child. "But it wasn't a match," she explains. "It really wasn't a match." So she continued to search.

"I was home during the Easter Break," recalls Gwen, who is employed as a special education teacher for the Washington, DC public schools. "I turned on the TV. There was Michael!" She called right away. And for Gwen, that phone call marked the end of her search for a child to adopt, and the beginning of her new life as a mother.

Gwen learned that, because Michael was in Washington, DC and she lived in nearby Maryland, a new homestudy was requested. Not easily discouraged, she took that in stride, happy to find out that there were no fees. "I attended the 10 week classes. The only thing I had to pay was $40 for fingerprinting," she says with a laugh.

Getting through the adoption process went smoothly, for the most part. "We just had complications with getting his birthmother's consent," says Gwen. Although Michael had been in foster care for 4 years and his goal was now adoption, he was not yet legally free. His birthmother did finally agree to the adoption. Gwen says thoughtfully, "I respect her– to the extent that she was able to realize that she couldn't meet Michael's needs."

While Gwen was getting approved by the new agency, Michael was in foster care. There were other children in the same home, and his foster mother didn't feel she could adopt Michael because of his special needs. She and Gwen had the opportunity to talk, and the foster mother shared her experience, that Michael had a lot of issues, and could be problematic. Among the concerns were medical needs, speech problems, learning delays, and significant emotional concerns. Gwen sums it up. "People had given up on my child."

Undaunted, Gwen forged ahead with her plans. Michael came home on August 14, 2001. He was 6 years old.

Gwen soon discovered that what Michael needed most was plenty of individualized attention. "Usually with Michael, it's one on one," she says. Fortunately, as a single parent of an only child, she had lots of attention for him. Soon she began to see hints of Michael's true potential. For example, she says, "I was able to observe that Michael needed to get his dental problems corrected in order to improve his speech."

"The public school system was encouraging me to put him in a special school for children with emotional problems," Gwen remembers. I knew that it would be better for him to be with children who could model appropriate behaviors." Now she knows that was the right decision. "Michael is doing wonderful. He is in special education only 5 hours a week! He's advanced in math. He was on the honor roll." Of course, his mother deserves some of the credit. Gwen takes every opportunity to let him try new and challenging activities. As she puts it, "If you're not exposed and stimulated, then you can't grow!"

It doesn't take much to persuade Gwen to list her son's athletic accomplishments. "Michael plays soccer. Michael plays basketball. Michael swims. Michael went to karate camp last year. Michael skis. Michael skates...." His mother is also proud of his musical ability. Now 8 years old, he has performed in his first piano recital and is practicing for the next one. "Michael is a wonderful, kind and loving little boy," Gwen declares. "He's just the love of my life."

Although his mom is a single parent, Michael doesn't feel he's missing out on anything. "He has his own nana, he has his own cousins," Gwen says. "He has a family now. He knows that he belongs." Gwen and Michael both feel lucky to have each other. "When I ask him does he want a sister or brother, sometimes he says yes," Gwen admits. But more often, Michael gives her an answer that shows he truly understands the meaning of adoption: "No, Mommy. It's just me and you." And he adds, "Forever and ever!"

Story written by Becky Birtha, as told by Gwen

More Stories