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Why Don't Children's Internet Descriptions Say More? You've just read a description of the child of your dreams-- let's call him Jose. Jose is 10 years old, friendly, curious, athletic, playful, and has no significant problems. What's missing from this picture? In real life, 10 year old kids without permanent families encounter challenges along the way. They learn to cope with the instability of their lives in ways you might expect-- getting depressed, becoming defiant or manipulative, not allowing adults to get close, or other behaviors. Jose may face medical or physical challenges that you can't see in his photo, concerns too mild to mention, such as allergies, or a serious diagnosis. Conditions such as mental retardation, attention deficit disorder, a history of abuse, or prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol may or may not be included in his narrative. Why? Those providing the information about a child try to achieve the delicate balance of giving honest information about a child without violating his dignity and his privacy. The family who adopts Jose should receive all the available information about his medical, emotional, and developmental needs. But the Internet is a very public place. Jose's description may be read by his classmates, teachers, neighbors, and birth family members, as well as by Jose himself. It is important that he be comfortable with what others will read about him. Each state, county, adoption exchange or website sets its own standards about what to include in-- and what to leave out of-- a narrative. Some jurisdictions do not allow personal or medical information to be disclosed. Jose's social worker may also choose to respect the youngster's privacy by keeping many things confidential. What can a family do? Fill in the online form to express your interest in Jose. If you have a completed homestudy, and Jose's worker thinks your family could meet his needs, you will be given an opportunity to learn much more about him. Be prepared to receive information that wasn't on the website-- his strengths and gifts as well as his challenges. --- |