The sometimes volatile discourse surrounding the right of or appropriateness of gays and/or lesbian adults to adopt children yearning for permanence and forever families triggers, for me, memories of my “family secret”…a secret hidden at great emotional cost to me, my brothers and my mother. This secret undermined our financial security, sense of personal safety and was a crippling embarrassment. Our father’s alcoholism was, then, seen a disgrace rather than diagnosed as disease. Given the choice I’d take gay any day!
Were my parents loving and devoted? Yes…still no family is without difficulties and uniqueness. Adults who embody integrity, love, acceptance, stability, commitment, honesty, openness and candor are the bedrock of a civil society. Individuals embracing some or all of these attributes make superb parents and role models. Sexual preference may be descriptive but it is not defining of sound parenting.
Prejudice and intolerance are THE purgative anvils of a dysfunctional society,. These two often level irreparable harm to children and putrefy our humanity.
My own family is blessed with one adopted son among our three children. He is mixed racially – the rest of us are not. At age 3 he was often asked by children, “How come you don’t look anything like your mom?” His favorite answer, “Different strokes for different folks.” Those who are accepting count to him. Unaccepting people don’ t count.
Parental sexuality doesn’t count to children. Caring, courageous, loving parents are the wind beneath their children’s wings. This very wind gusts-away questions of sexual preference.
contributed by Kelly Wolfington, NAC Board Member